Relationships

Reasonable Requests

Annual events are often important to extended families, and joining a new family can put stress on an outsider. When their spouse begins planning the festivities, they often feel as if they have no place in any of it. Those who act out in ways that will distract their spouse or push their buttons are engaging in childish behavior, but there are ways they can become part of the festivities. They might have had the same type of celebrations in their family, and making reasonable requests to include some of their traditions is a good way to be part of the action and help their spouse at the same time.

There are many times when annual events include traditional dishes, but not all families share the same ones. Asking a partner if a traditional family dish can be included on the menu is a good idea, but it should be done during the planning stages. Asking at the last minute is selfish, but a caring partner will often be able to accommodate the dish if it is mentioned when the event is being planned.

Feeling left out is generally not the intention of the partner doing the main planning and execution of the event, but they can overwhelm their partner without realizing it. Taking a few minutes to sit down and talk it out is the responsible way to handle the situation, and asking for even a small part of the preparations can keep the relationship between the two alive and healthy.

There are plenty of opportunities to create havoc within a relationship, and special events are a time when a partner’s resources are low enough to make them successful. A caring person will sit down with their spouse, talk through the plans, ask for any special dishes and offer their help if they want their relationship to be a long term one that brings both partners happiness.